Friday, June 4, 2004

You can't make this stuff up.

"Jesse Helms is back! And this time he's black." That's Winston-Salem city councilman Vernon Robinson's campaign slogan as one of eight GOP candidates in the July 20 primary for North Carolina's 5th Congressional District.

Pretty inoffensive, though, compared to the radio ad he's running:

ANNOUNCER NO. 1: Vernon Robinson, conservative. The aliens are here, but they didn't come in a spaceship. They came across our unguarded Mexican border by the millions -- illegally.

They've filled our criminal courtrooms and invaded our school. They sponge off the American taxpayer by clogging our welfare lines and our hospital emergency rooms. They've even taken over the DMV. These aliens commit heinous crimes against us, like Maximiliano Esparza, who raped a nun and strangled her with her own rosary -- illegally.

They commit crimes but won't commit to learn our language. You walk into a McDonald's restaurant to order a Big Mac and find to your horror that the employees don't speak English -- illegals. You may be in the heart of America, but you feel as though you are in the Twilight Zone.

Vernon Robinson will secure our borders, cut off the welfare payments and once and for all make English our official language. Press one for English? No. Vote Vernon Robinson for English.

VERNON ROBINSON: I'm Vernon Robinson, and I approve this message.

ANNOUNCER NO. 2: Yo Gringo! Este episodio de Twilight Zone era pagado para Robinson por congreso.
The ad's come under fire, not for it's extreme offensiveness but for the fact that the required disclosure at the end - "This ad was paid for by Robinson for Congress." - is in Spanish.

...?

When is somebody going to decide WE need a regime change and liberate us?

PS: In related news, Yummy Sandwich got the boot earlier this week, officially because "[they] could not follow a consistent schedule when delivering their products." My email to HR complaining about their promotional tactics never received a response.

8 comments:

Tony said...

These aliens commit heinous crimes against us, like Maximiliano Esparza, who raped a nun and strangled her with her own rosary -- illegally. He did it illegally?! Damn him! If he had only spoken English, he would have known he needed a permit for that. ;-p

This really takes the cake. Is he given a chance in the race?

Anonymous said...

This really takes the cake. Is he given a chance in the race?The black race or the human race? I'd say no to both. I can't believe that this guy isn't a parody cooked up on MAD TV. I don't even know where to start...

B.

PS. is June 29th still happening or no?

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez said...

Well I'l be...! Yummy Sandwich has edited their online Powerpoint presentation and removed the "illegal immigrants" line from Slide #17. Frankly, I'm stunned.

Diane said...

you're such an ANGRY pumpkin...........
MY hero :)

adamist said...

Here's what I wrote at my blog (http://blogic.joeuser.com)

"Jesse Helms is back! And this time, he's black."

How funny is that?

Okay, I can't take credit for the headline; it's the unofficial slogan of a leading candidate for Congress, Vernon Robinson.

He has a hilarious web site: VernonRobinson.com and some awesome radio spots:

"The aliens are here, but they didn't come in a spaceship," an announcer says over the theme to "The Twilight Zone." "They've filled our criminal courtrooms and clogged our schools ... They sponge off the American taxpayer ... they've even taken over the DMV. These aliens commit heinous crimes ... You walk into a McDonald's restaurant to order a Big Mac, and find to your horror that the employees don't speak English." (1)

You can also download his radio spots from his web site. I hope he fucking pays me for this free press.

He's the type of guy liberals love to hate. He xenophobically attacks illegal aliens, bashes gays, and announces the crisis of "feminization of the military". This is a guy guaranteed to create lots of awkward moments at Thanksgiving. He'd probably start screeching about "welfare queen injuns" or how the country would be better off if we all lived on wooden ships, or some other crazy shit.

Not even the 19th Century is safe from his pillaging: he resurrects the issue of "sound money". He's only a small step from ranting that leaving the gold standard was a communistic ploy, and paper money is only favored by the New York Jew money lenders.

Vernon Robinson will likely end up in Congress. He's the leading Republican candidate, and the district is conservative. You do the math: Vernon will be busy doing the crazy legislating.

He's also a guy this liberal hates to love. His ads are offensive, but really clever and purty darn funny. The Universe is a strange neighborhood to live in: it shouldn't be possible for a xenophobic homophobe to be witty; but Vernon Robinson is.

You go, Vernon Robinson! Just please don't go to Washington.

Anonymous said...

Hold Kemp accountable!

http://mrsun.us/2004/06/mein-kempf_06.html

Anonymous said...

I would be happy to post my name but I refuse to "sign in" on this web site. Mr. Robinson, I just watched your ad on TV and was horrified by the picture of Nicholas Berg sitting in front of his captures. Although this is a fact of the terror we now face, I was grossly offended that you would exploit this man's tradgey toward your benefit. As a mother, if this were my son, I would sue you! Your bigot comments are disgusting! If we all felt like you do, your race would still be in slavery! I sat there waiting to hear you say something about how women should stay out of the boardrooms and get back in the kitchen! Abortion is not my choice of birth control but the right of a woman to choose is! I do not "approve" of an alternate lifestyle for MY life but the way someone else chooses to live is between them and God and none of my business, nor yours. Just in case you haven't heard, the God that you advertise loves ALL of us ... even a white, female, Catholic Democrat like me! It is people like you that make me proud that I am a Democrat and more determined to keep your kind out of Washington! I find your entire attitude "anti-American". This is NOT what we have fought and died for throughout our history of being a free nation ... under God ... with liberty and justice for ALL. You miss out on a lot by being a narrow-minded, moran, extremist. I feel sorry for you.

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez said...

Um...thanks for your comments. Just want to point out that this isn't Mr. Robinson's web site and clarify that I in no way, shape or form, agree with the guy's views. Sorry if that wasn't clear in my post.