Tuesday, April 8, 2003

The antiNOTES...

Blame it on the rain? Maybe. It certainly messed with our turnout last night. I'm thinking my having to be sober through it all is what really set ME off, though.

The anniversary show was both a moderate success and a raging bust all at once. I had the whole night laid out on a tight schedule that required us to get started at 7:20pm but with the bad weather, the turnout was light and slow to build. Had to kind of wing it throughout the night and was never particularly happy with how things were going. With my stomach still not 100%, not only was I sober but I was starving, too, as I was concerned about eating the wrong thing so hadn't really eaten much of anything. I've heard of bitter drunks but WTF! Bitter sober!?!?!

The show itself was fun as we successfully introduced a new element to the mix with the musical guests. They were all great and Maya Azucena, in particular, was amazing yet again, energizing the room and holding everyone transfixed throughout her set, bringing people to tears with her version of Hallelujah at the end. Unfortunately, there were only 50-60 people there, a huge disappointment from a financial perspective. Thankfully, the artists donated their time so the little bit of door there was we were able to keep.

Most of the poetry came in the second half of the show and by the time I read, I was so not in the mood, i can only imagine how my performance came off. I felt pissy and annoyed and it seemed like it was coming out while I was reading my Army piece, giving it an angry edge that's not necessarily meant to be there.

Some of the old-timers bitched and moaned about the music:poetry ratio being out of whack but I'd warned everyone ahead of time that we would be setting the stage for some new directions with this show. Besides that, though, these are the same people that complain that there's usually too much poetry so whatever! I was so not in the mood for it, though, and kept avoiding the conversation.

My mood had steadily darkened through the night to the point I didn't even want to be there anymore, didn't want to talk to anyone, certainly didn't want to hang out for the afterparty. What sucked most was I couldn't really put my finger on what I was pissed about. Soon as the show ended, I gathered up everything, said quick goodbyes and broke out to catch the 11:30 Metro North which worsened my mood even more.

Woke up this morning not feeling all that much better. Gonna treat myself to a nice, stomach-friendly lunch somewhere and try to clear my head. I haven't been in a mood this bad since...shit, probably somewhere near the end of the Virginia days.

Today's web site: http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/war.html

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