louder than words update:

Got the go-ahead from Bob to proceed with Plan A. Also found out that I'll be on the cover of their next calendar! Decided to hit Urbana for the Billy Collins/Limerick Slam show on Thursday to do some promo, even though the $20 cover really stings!

louder than words is a brand new show
that's going to reject the status quo
of poets spewing bullshit from the mic
'cause they think that's what the audience likes
instead, demanding both grow

Have to make a new batch of flyers once everyone is officially confirmed and Eric and I are going to hit a few shows next week to promote. Instead of the picture of me that's on the current one, I'm thinking of some provocative one-liners, a la ABC's yellow campaign a couple of years ago:

That time of the month.
Putting the "try" back in "poetry."
So you wrote a poem. What are you going DO about it?
Bruising egos since 1997.

The last one is my favorite!

Another hopeful sign...

Soldier who refused to return to Iraq to surrender in North Miami
By Erik Schelzig, Associated Press

NORTH MIAMI, Fla. (AP) Shaken by a gunfight in Iraq that killed innocent civilians, a 28-year-old U.S. soldier declared the invasion ''an oil-driven war'' and said he won't return to the Middle East and fight.

Staff Sgt. Camilo Mejia, of Miami Beach, surrendered Monday at an air force base in Massachusetts, where he was ordered to report to his unit Tuesday at the North Miami Armory in suburban Miami.

His attorney, Louis Font, said he believes Mejia is the first soldier to turn himself in after refusing to return to Iraq. Mejia said he would seek conscientious objector status.

Mejia was in Iraq for about five months last year until October, when he returned home on leave. He did not return to duty.

''This is an oil-driven war, and I don't think any soldier signs up to fight for oil,'' Mejia said Monday after arriving at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.

Mejia said he was particularly upset over an incident in which he and others were ambushed and innocent civilians were hit in the ensuing gunfire.

''That's one of the things that tells me there's no such thing as a fair war, no such thing as a just war,'' he said.

He did not believe his refusal to return to service in Iraq affected morale among the troops, saying: ''I think the morale of the soldiers is already affected.''

...Mejia said he joined the military upon his arrival in the United States so he could work his way into American society. He could not say whether he might be deported because of his refusal to serve, but said ''whatever sacrifice I have to make, I have to go there.''

Tod Ensign, director of Citizen Soldier, a New York-based group that provides counsel and defense to military resisters and is organizing Mejia's defense, said Mejia could face up to one year in prison for being absent without leave and up to five years in prison if he is convicted of desertion.

''I am saying no to war; I have chosen peace,'' Mejia said Monday at an anti-war news conference. ''I went to Iraq and was an instrument of violence and now I have decided to become an instrument of peace.''

I rarely give a conscious thought to the possibility of being caught up in a terrorist attack, fully accepting the likelihood that NYC remains a target and at some point in the future, another attack will come. Other than crawling under a rock or moving to North Dakota, there's really no other option and, to be honest, I don't even see much difference between the two.

Every now and then, though, something random happens that forces me to acknowledge that I live and work smack in the middle of one of the largest bullseyes around, and it can be a little unnerving.

Today, I took a little trip uptown at during lunch and on the way back, got off the train at City Hall because I wanted to walk a bit. Exiting the car onto the platform, my mind lost in the sublime logic of Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals (I've only read the Prologue so far and I'm already loving it; thanks, Siegel!) I just missed walking smack into a fully-armored police officer carrying an M16, trailed by two more cops identically equipped. Two of them were carrying their rifles with the barrel poionted up, a no-no in the military unless you're actively on patrol because of the potential for accidentally pulling the trigger and shooting one of your own. My first thought was that they were badly trained. My second thought was that they were on patrol. There, on the platform of the City Hall station. One car from the end of the platform and walking with a purpose.

Not sure which thought disturbed me more.

Outside, a few blocks south on Broadway, I can see the gaping hole that used to be the World Trade Center down the block to my right. Two blocks further, a number of police cars are lined up, an ambulance sitting behind them, lights flashing but no sirens blaring. A large cube van is pulled over at the line and a police officer is talking to the driver, a vaguely Arabic-looking latino who is still sitting in the driver's seat of the van.

For the next few blocks I think about Spain and the meaning of their new government and its new leader standing up to Bush on his continuing occupation of Iraq. I also realize that despite Alinsky's book being published in 1971, his prologue is startingly current.

By the time I make it back to work - on the fringes of the financial district, as likely a target as any here in the city - my thoughts have moved on to other more personal things and the sense of naked helplessness I'd felt 10 minutes earlier had completely passed. Life goes on in the big city; if not always by choice, then by necessity.

Perhaps there is some reason for hope...

Spain Vows to Pull Soldiers Out of Iraq
By ED McCULLOUGH, Associated Press Writer

MADRID, Spain - The leader of Spain's victorious Socialists said Monday he will withdraw his nation's support for the U.S.-led occupation of Iraq, restating a campaign promise a day after his party won elections overshadowed by terrorist bombings.

Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, calling the war that ousted Saddam Hussein an "error," said he would recall Spanish troops from Iraq by June 30 unless the United Nations assumes control of multinational military operations there.

In a surprise defeat, Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar's conservatives on Sunday became the first government that backed Washington in Iraq to be voted from office. The election came amid charges that Aznar made Spain a target for terrorists by supporting the war, and that his government concealed possible connections between the attack and Islamic terrorists for political gain.

...The conservatives' defeat was unexpected. Pre-election polls had projected the Popular Party, led by Mariano Rajoy, would win comfortably, and even some exit polls Sunday showed it might win.

But when the ballots were tallied, the Socialists netted 10.9 million to the PP's 9.6 million. Turnout was 77 percent.

Zapatero ran for the first time for prime minister against an entrenched government and won. "That broke a lot of precedents," party campaign manager Jose Blanco said Monday.

You paying attention, John Kerry?

Met with Bob (and Ed Greer) on Friday to nail down the details for louder than words. They love the concept and had some great input on the overall format, plus there's the possibility of Bob calling in some favors to book me some "big" names. Really, he's just hedging his bets there as they've been burned by lackluster shows in prime slots in the past and is concerned I'm targeting the usual audience which may garner a similar result.

With less than a week to pull together the lineups in order to have enough time to do some promo and prep work for the show itself, I didn't think twice about tapping the people I know. That got me quick confirmations, people I can vibe with in an untested format, and a base audience that allows me to have a general idea of a minimum turnout. Basically, I need 34 paid people in the house for each show for it not to be a loss on either end. Quite frankly, if I can't get 34 people to show up, I don't need to be doing the show at all!

To be honest, while one part of me loves the idea of sharing a stage with a Sekou Sundiata, for example, a bigger part of me would rather the show suceed or fail with the "usual" and then, if successful, come back as a monthly series in May or June with some big guns on the bill.

Either way, the next two weeks are going to be stressful as I'll have to get out a bit more than I usually do to promote. Thankfully, the Acentos crew is stepping up like real family and helping me get the word out. And, of course, Eric - who had some great ideas for the larger vision of the format - has the Monday night stage to promote from. All that, plus my own efforts should easily get at least 50 people in the house. I think as people start to understand the format - the biggest challenge in promoting this thing - the buzz about it will grow exponentially.

ie: Picture a couple of distinguished slam veterans debating their seemingly opposite rationales on and approaches to poetry slam against the backdrop of their own successes, failures and compromises in the format, and in their careers in general. Throw in a little game of Devil's Advocate to keep them honest and on their toes, and have the audience pick a "winner."

Or something like that. ;-)

Download the flyer here.

NEWS FLASH: Mark Your Calendars!

louder than words

Bowery Poetry Club
Saturday, March 27 & Saturday, April 3
8pm SHARP!

It's Politically Incorrect meets David Letterman.
Def Poetry with an editor. Slam poetry with a brain.
It's a little bit smarter, a little bit quicker,
a little bit louder...than words.

The dates are tentative, pending tomorrow's meeting with Bob but it looks it should be a go. It's an intimidating time slot, prime time Saturday night, and only two weeks to promote the first show so I'm really going to have to bust my ass to pull it all together. Eric's on-board for both shows, with Helen on the 27th and Diane on the 3rd. Still tweaking the format so it fits comfortably into the allotted 90 minutes and already have an interesting lineup coming together for the 2nd show. Worked on the flyer last night and just need the features to plug in. May go with something generic so I can start getting the word out tomorrow, though.

Am I excited? Like grandma at a Tom Jones concert, panties in hand. Nervous as hell, too!

More later.

Sent my BRIO submission in today, two days before the deadline. Thank you, Express Mail!

It's the first time I've submitted for something like this - other than a single poem entered in a Literal Latte contest way back in 1999; I just don't have the self-discipline - and it was a real challenge to decide what to submit. 10 pages aren't very many poems when most of mine average 3 pages each. (Slam influence, anyone?) The fact that I knew I was definitely submitting Mozer, Bethea and I - a five-pager! - severely limited my other options as I didn't want to submit only three pieces. It's like a 10 minute feature - there's not a lot of room to stretch.

In addition to Mozer..., I went with handmade memories (one-page), Breathless (two pages) and Gotham City Suite: Untitled, #1 (two pages). Salomé wasn't thrilled with the latter, in particular, but there's something I really like about it. If you can get beyond the surface of it being about Batman (which should be relatively easy as he's never actually named) and dig into the pyschology of the character, I think it's a pretty good poem.

I did almost give in this morning and substitute the poem I wrote about Isaac but decided against it since it has his name in it, potentially revealing me as the author, which is a no-no. Same reason I didn't go with Credentials.

All in all, I'm comfortable with my choices and think they'll stand out on the first pass.

Part of me believes I should be a shoo-in for the grant based on what I saw when I was a judge for it back in 2000. It was like an average open mic: one amazing poet, a handful of solid ones and a short bus full of doggerel. If this were then, I'd definitely be in the top four.

It's 2004, though, and the realistic side of me knows that the Bronxites from Acentos alone will raise the bar considerably. (Thankfully Rich doesn't live in the Bronx yet!) And, of course, there's the question of taste. These kinds of competitions are no different from a slam, maybe even tougher as there's no sacrificial poet to get a feel for what the judges like, no chance to adjust strategy and give them what they're looking for. There's not even the opportunity to get a look at them and stereotype! Of course, that's a good thing since it forces you to go with your gut, but it's also much more intimidating.

I'll be honest and admit that I really want to win this thing. That it's quite likely my last hurrah as far as poetry is concerned makes it a big deal. That it's a grant recognizing artists from the Bronx is an even bigger deal.

Fingers crossed.

Dear wannabe Warren Buffets:

If you're considering buying MSO stock thinking you're going to make a bundle when it swings back up, here's what I wrote to someone else that thinks the same thing.

It's definitely a gamble but unless you're playing with tens of thousands of dollars, I don't think it's going to be such a big winner that it's worth throwing good money after. The potential gain on a small investment^* isn't worth the potential loss.

The brand is undeniably damaged and even if they pull off a Philip Morris/Altria, there's not a huge upside as Martha Stewart herself IS the brand. At best, they change their name and become just another small niche player in a pretty large sector.

There's also serious speculation that the stock will drop low enough that Stewart can have the company buy it all back without completely depleting its cash reserves and take the company private again.

Something else to consider: the stock was initially offered at almost $40 back in 1999, the peak of the market boom. It hovered in the $20s, on average, for the next couple of years before 9/11 took its toll, dropping into the high teens and then single digits by the summer of 2002. It's averaged $9-10 ever since.

*Bottom line: buying this stock right now not an investment but pure speculation, a game for those with money to lose and enough to make winning worth the risk.

I'd advise against it.

PS: Don't forget that there is still an SEC charge of insider trading that needs to be resolved (which could result in significant fines and more bad press), as well as a civil lawsuit from investors that have lost money on her stock due to her actions.

She's not out of the woods just yet. Not even close.

NOTE: This is a personal opinion as I am no longer licensed and cannot legally give financial advice.

Whatever you do, please make sure that you at least do your own research and know what you're getting into. Listening to the Today Show doesn't count. The stock market isn't a game for amateurs. There's better odds in Vegas.

Beyond that, if you've got credit cards to pay off, or monthly bills piling up, or less than 3 months worth of expenses sitting in the bank - or, even better, if you're sitting there wondering what MSO is - you have absolutely no business thinking about buying anybody's stock!

So I'm trying to finish this new piece [have I mentioned Acentos is tonight?] that came out of nowhere a little over a week ago and I go to open it up in Word a few minutes ago and I notice another file cryptically named "post," last modified on 5/14/2003. Curious, I open it and find this:

My father thought holding my head under the water was the best way to teach me to hold my breath and, ultimately, to swim. To this day, I cannot swim.

This is obviously something we will never agree on, though.

Competing against you or any other "veteran" in a slam doesn't make anyone better unless you're suggesting that the points actually mean something and who "wins" is representative of something other than the subjective opinions of five random people. I know if Shawn or Claudia had made the team, no one would be saying they were better writers than those they beat, they'd be complaining that the judges I picked sucked.

What makes people better writers is encouragement and honest critique and the opportunity to have their voices heard and an encouraging environment to develop those voices.

I didn't become a better writer during my year at the Nuyorican because I slammed against writers that were "better" than me, I got better because of the supportive community that existed there, encouraging me to get better, telling when something I wrote was crap. It was also a community that constantly wrote and performed new work because the "veterans" were no longer competing, they had stepped up to the next level and became mentors.

The experience of Nationals, in particular, isn't about developing to the point where you can take out Billy Collins in a head-to-head competition. Nationals is nothing more than a step, an EARLY step, in a poet's development process. At least it SHOULD be.

Instead, it seems to have become this ego-driven, cutthroat

It ends there, followed by the thread of emails I was responding to, all part of the internal debate about the slam that ultimately led to my officially stepping down from the louderARTS Project six days later. If I remember correctly, I'm pretty sure I knew I was done with them as I was writing that email.

As another slam season draws to a close, locally and across the country, and venues prepare for the final slams that will decide the teams representing them in St. Louis this summer, I've noticed several slam "veterans" have been pondering the vitality and relevance of slam in their journals. I wrote something for Word Street last year about that and think the main point still stands: As long as there are poets who have not yet found their voice, who have not felt both the sting and praise of audience reaction, there will always be a need for the poetry slam.

The problem isn't with the slam format itself, it's with the poets and how they choose to approach it. Period.

Everything else is just ego talking.

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results Warmth |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Liveliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Dutifulness ||||||||||||||| 42% Social Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Paranoia ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Introversion ||||||||||||||| 46% Anxiety |||||||||||| 38% Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Independence ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Perfectionism ||||||||||||||| 50% Tension ||||||||| 26%

Take Free 16pf based Personality Test.

Interesting. And pretty close in several areas. Though with a Paranoia of 62%, you'd think Anxiety and Tension would be higher than 38% and 26%, respectively. Unless...they really are out to get me and I've simply come to terms with that fact!

Pumpkin Seeds

1. I just noticed my redesign pretty much killed the "angry pumkpin" tag. Other than in the title bar, it doesn't even appear anywhere. Hmmm...

2. Watched Deep Blue Sea Saturday night while working on the web site. Twice, actually, as TNT showed it back-to-back. Silly movie but it's got the Best Death Scene Ever when Samuel Jackson gets eaten by a shark in the middle of a rousing speech.

3. Bought tickets for the March 21st show of the circus at the Garden. I haven't been to the circus in years. We almost went this weekend out in Jersey but India would have had to pay for a ticket which is ridiculous. The first Broadway show I ever saw live was Barnum, back in 1980, a highly entertaining take on the life of huckster supreme P.T. Barnum. Great music and lots of circus antics. I even had the soundtrack and still remember several of the songs, which Salomé found a little disturbing. "There is a sucker, born every minute! Like dandelions up they pop, their ears so big, their eyes so wide and though I feed them bonafide baloney, with no truth in it..." Adding it to my wish list now!

4. The latest kid's song to worm it's way into my head: The Green Grass Grows All Around

The bird in the egg,
And the egg in the nest,
And the nest on the branch,
And the branch on the limb,
And the limb on the tree,
And the tree in a hole,
And the hole in the ground
And the green grass grows all around, all around
The green grass grows all around.

Did a search for the lyrics and found out that there's even more to the song! Maybe I'll read it at Acentos tomorrow night?

5. Those blogspot ads up above finally paid off with something cool: President Forever: 2004. It's a computer simulation that let's you control the day-to-day activities of a candidate's presidential campaign over the final 7 weeks before the election. Played the Demo last night as Ralph Nader: Spoiler and ran out of money halfway into the game. Planning to buy the full version this week. Back in 1996, I had the Doonesbury Election Game and played it for weeks, often into the wee hours of the morning, so I won't get it before Wednesday lest I miss Acentos tomorrow night!

6. It's fantasy baseball time again and this year's league is shaping up quickly, with only one spot left to fill. One newcomer so far, a Texan friend of Phil's, and I'm trying to push Siegel in if he ever checks his damn email! Going to try to pull off a live draft this time, via email, as the computer draft always screws a couple of people over and, with 12 teams, that pretty much guarantees someone abandoning ship mid-season. Which really sucks, especially when you lose to that abandoned team!

7. Russell Simmons on Def Poetry Jam, from Cleveland's The Plain Dealer:

The racial diversity of the cast was just a happenstance, Simmons said. The show was always about the best poets.

"We did not produce it for diversity's sake," Simmons said. "When you see it, you'll see a Mexican guy, a Spanish girl, a Puerto Rican girl, a Palestinian girl, a Jewish boy, but they're all hip-hop. The core culture is the same, hip-hop. And that shows what hip-hop is, what it is all about, what it does: It brings the world together - Asian, Puerto Rican, Russian. No difference."

Who's he trying to fool? Everyone knows they put that thing together with an eye towards diversity - racial, gender & sexuality. That lineup didn't just happen and it certainly wasn't about the best poets.

8. Haven't heard back from Bob Holman yet on the show and I'm getting a little antsy as I'm hoping to kick it off sometime in April. Need enough lead time to get some good promotion going, though. I'm so amped about the idea that if it doesn't work out at the Bowery, I'll have to find somewhere else to do it. Ideally, though, it all works out with the BPC. And on a night that Shappy's bartending.

9. Acentos is tomorrow night. Jack Agueros features alongside the best open mic in the city. Not just uptown. IN THE CITY. If I can pull it together and the list isn't too full, I might be reading a new piece. Be there!

Today's lesson: How to be productive while getting absolutely nothing you intended to do done!

Exhibit A: this web site!

I completely redesigned the blog & loudpoet.com so they now share one cohesive look. Weird thing is...I don't love it. I like it, and I'm definitely going to keep it awhile 'cause it was a pain in the ass to create (shout-outs to CoffeeCup's HTML Editor, one of the best mid-level HTML geek products available!) and, if nothing else, it's a start.

NOTE: it is sized at 640 wide on purpose because not everyone is using a 'sexy 19" flat-screen!' Ahem. ;-)

Between this and my renewed affair with Car Battler Joe, I have a feeling this entry may be all the writing I get done this week. Loser!

1. The Machiavellian Chronicles continue over coffee with my old boss this afternoon [Starbucks. She paid. I still feel guilty!] to discuss the current situation and the interesting direction it took earlier today. She's the only one I actually trust and things could get very interesting as early as next week so I'm trying to place my pieces on the right squares and minimize the collateral damage. Drama!

2. On a related note, I got some well-timed rave reviews for the series of ads I did for our new Accounting books. I love it when a plan comes together!

3. The next Zogby poll numbers on the Presidential election will include my two cents! I'm the married Northeastern Independent that thinks very unfavorably of Bush and somewhat unfavorably of Kerry, and isn't sure whom I'd vote for between Bush-Kerry-Nader but would take Kerry in a one-on-one with Bush. Hopefully there's enough like me to send the Democrats an early warning.

4. Martha Stewart found guilty. Duh! The real mystery is whether or not that means a big sale at K-Mart on her stuff? We need new pots.

5. How many times can I listen to the Maroon 5 CD in one day? Currently on its seventh rotation - six at work and once this morning instead of the news - and counting.

6. I must get some writing done this weekend. Not editing. Writing. I also need to pull things together for our next D&D session on the 13th!

Woke up this morning / feeling excellent! / Picked up the telephone / dialed the number / Of my equal opportunity / employer to inform him / I will not be in / to work today! / Are you feeling sick? / the Boss asked me, / "No Sir" I replied, / I am feeling too good / to report to work today! / If I feel sick tomorrow / I will come in early.
--TELEPHONE BOOTH NUMBER 905, by El Reverendo Pedro Pietri

Pedro Pietri died yesterday.

From the Nuyorican: "The family and friends of Pedro Pietri will keep you informed as arrangements are finalized, through the Pedro Pietri Health Benefit voicemail (212-340-1237)."

I hope he was comforted these past few months knowing a lot of people were pulling for him and that his life, hard as it may have been at times, wasn't lived in vain.

Rest well, el Rev. You've earned it.

What the fuck?!?!

Black like who? Kerry's making history all right
John Kass, Chicago Tribune: Published March 4, 2004

If Democrat John Kerry wins the White House in November, he promises to make history.

He hopes to become our second black president.

"President Clinton was often known as the first black president," Kerry told the Urban Radio Network the other day, according to an Associated Press report.

"I wouldn't be upset if I could earn the right to be the second," Kerry said.

What the fuck?!?!

A recent discussion in Morris Stegosaurus' journal and a conversation last night about the poetry scene got me thinking about change and evolution and what influences both.

I haven't been to Bar 13 in the longest and have been waiting for the next UPPERCASE to come around as a reason to go. UPPERCASE always represented the best of what we did there with the series, putting the spotlight on a handful of relative newcomers and giving them the room to stretch their legs beyond the confines of the open mic or the slam. For many, it was their first time ever as a featured poet. The vast majority stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park and were always appreciative of the opportunity. The criteria was admittedly subjective as I was influenced as much by the quality of the work as the quality of the person, and I frequently took chances on people who, by the definition of some, weren't "ready yet" - a bullshit descriptor in a scene predominantly made up of relatively unaccomplished amateurs.

Anyway, I check their calendar every now and then, hoping to see an UPPERCASE on the bill and have been disappointed every time by its absence. Someone suggested that there just weren't enough good new people to schedule one but I see that as the craftsman blaming his tools. It's been six months or so and there haven't been three decent newcomers on the scene? There's more than that many at every Acentos! What. Ever.

More discouragingly, I've noticed a narrowing of their focus as they've begun doing more targeted formats like GrooveNation, for black poets; Raise the Red Tent, the rejiggered - and reportedly more restrictive - House of Woman-aka-WomanNoise; and now Q2, the new queer reading that started out at the Bowery.

Ironic that a venue once known for having one of the most inclusive reading series' in the city is now drawing such stark lines in the sand. Disappointing, too.

Anyway, all of this got me thinking again about the show I'd proposed to Bob Holman a while back that hit the back burner after we couldn't settle on a workable timeslot and then the holidays came and then I decided I was done and blah blah blah. It got me thinking about what I'd set out to do back in 1998 when I practically lived at the Nuyorican but saw a need for something outside of that, where poets & audience who enjoyed slam but wanted another forum, with a similar energy, that supported the non-slammy stuff. And so a little bit louder was born.

Much moreso than the current Monday night show at 13 , I think that it's Acentos that has picked up on that mission, creating the kind of space where everyone is welcome on the mic and everyone is made to feel comfortable. Except...it's focus on Latino writers, necessary and admirable as it is, and it's location in the Bronx mean that there are certain limitations on what it can ultimately accomplish in terms of developing a diverse community. Some of my favorite poets will never be able to feature their work there beyond their 3-5 minutes in the open mic. (What I love most is that they show up and support despite this, a true sign of being in it for the love more than the attention.) This isn't a bad thing at all as it represents their commitment to a specific mission and they accomplish it exceedingly well with each successive show. It's totally different from a once welcoming-to-all weekly event like 13's switching to more exclusive niche formats, though.

The potentially great thing about the Bowery Poetry Club is that it's a full-time performance space with a calendar, if not audience, that's able to support a wide spectrum of events from the open-to-all Urbana slams to the completely esoteric Taylor Mead Show and all kinds of things in between. Plus, it's a great physical space. As such, I emailed Bob today to restart our talks about doing a show there.

Completely contradictory to what I said a week ago, I know, but that was February!

Here's what I sent him, in the "hypothetical press release" format he prefers:

louder than words
with Guy LeCharles Gonzalez

"If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words."--Fran Lebowitz


“Idiosyncratic and incendiary” poet/writer/malcontent, Guy LeCharles Gonzalez hosts a live, interactive variety show at the Bowery Poetry Club featuring poets and musicians in an engaging format that embraces the simple idea that art can be a catalyst for change and be entertaining at the same time.

“The whole scene has gotten too safe, too predictable,” explains the founder and former curator/host of the highly acclaimed a little bit louder reading series, and co-author of Burning Down the House (Soft Skull Pr, 2000). “I want to shake things up a little bit. Put a little controversy back into the mix and challenge the artists and the audience on their easy acceptance of bullshit.”

The 90-minute show will be co-hosted by Eric Guerrieri and Helen Yum and will feature music and poetry performances by both well-known and up-and-coming artists; improvisational debates between the hosts, featured guests and audience on a variety of controversial topics; plus, door prizes and a community action information table for turning words into action.

Feedback is welcomed, wanted and encouraged, whether in the guestbook or via email. Save the flames for my comments about 13. It's called an opinion and I'm entitled!

Let's ignore the undemocratic idiocy of the fact that on the one day of the primary season that the most delegates are up for grabs, there's only four of the ten original candidates actively running, one of whom has been routinely referred to as "the presumptive nominee" for the past few weeks.

Let's ignore the hypocrisy of the fact that the networks pledged to stop projecting the winner of individual states until after the polls were closed during the Presidential election, but tonight were projecting John Kerry victories in some states a full three hours before the polls in California closed.

Let's ignore the irony of the fact that 2/5 of the country - aka the other 20 states that haven't held their primaries yet - have basically been disenfranchised now that the race has all but been conceded to Kerry; if not by every single candidate, certainly by the media.

Instead, let's acknowledge the sad reality of the fact that John Kerry is at this moment, arguably at his peak, a shaky candidate for the Democrats, at best, and that the Bushies haven't even begun to fight. Add to it the disheartening fact that the election is still EIGHT MONTHS AWAY.

Thanks a lot Iowa, New Hampshire and the mainstream media. Due to your undue influence on the process, the chances of us being stuck with Bush for another four years are stronger than they reasonably should be.

Thanks Terry McAuliffe and friends. Due to your compressed calendar that completely overlooked the advantages of a prolonged primary, Bush and company have eight full months to tear apart an easy target.

Finally, thanks registered Democrats. Due to your unimaginative, lemming-like embrace of the mediocre, it's a sequel, Dumb and Dullerer: The Emperor Changes Clothes in November, ensuring another four years of relative status quo. We just get to choose the gift wrap.

ATTN: Dennis Kucinich & Al Sharpton - Please, please, please continue to challenge, if not outright campaign against, Kerry all the way to the convention. Give the remaining 20 states a choice. Don't sell out what you've stood for in obesience to a party that clearly takes your issues for granted and would like nothing more than for you both to disappear and shut up. The minute you do is the minute I tune out until October. Maybe even longer.

One of the more interesting memes I've come across, swiped from theklute's LiveJournal:

So, say you were meeting a new person - blind date, new friend, who knows. And you wanted them to have some idea of what kind of person you are, and who you are. But you can't actually tell them in so many words. Instead, you have to give them a box, with a dozen things in it for them to ponder over.

What would you put in the box? No cheating - you're not allowed to include things such as links to your livejournal.

WHAT I'D PUT IN MINE:
01. Matt Ruff's Fool On The Hill
02. Willie Perdomo's Where a Nickel Costs a Dime
03. Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting
04. a RIGHT to be HOSTILE (The Boondocks Treasury)
05. Milli Vanilli's Girl You Know It's True
06. Fight Club DVD
07. It's a Wonderful Life VHS
08. Picture of my wife & kids
09. Picture of the Empire State Building
10. Bottle of Good-O Kola Champagne
11. An empty flask
12. A #2 pencil, sharpened

Pumpkin Seeds

1. If I had gone for the Lord of the Rings sweep (that I'd hoped for but didn't expect) and not taken a gamble on a couple of other longshot upsets, I'd have done better than 67% with my picks last night. Considering I hadn't seen the vast majority of the nominees, though, it wasn't too bad.

2. After last night, shouldn't Peter Jackson re-consider his planned remake of King Kong? I know I'd be thinking retirement if I were him. Or at least doing only small-budget films for awhile. As the great philospher Kenny Rogers says, "You gotta know when to hold 'em; know when to fold 'em."

3. The Passion of the Christ's huge opening weekend led to some entertaining puns: "Passion" Blesses Box Office; The Passion of the Christ really nailed it.; Jesus Christ a Superstar at Box Office; And on the seventh day ... Jesus ruled the North American box office.

4. I hate to admit it but I like Tiger Woods' latest American Express commerical, a knock-off of Caddyshack with him in the Carl Spackler (Bill Murray) role. First evidence of an actual personality I've ever seen from the guy.

5. John Edwards finally came out swinging in Sunday's debate but it was probably too little too late. And if he was holding back all this time for the VP slot, that slim hope is all but gone now. I'm starting to believe it's going to be a Kerry-Gephardt ticket. Once Bush brings Giuliani on board, this thing is going to be an ugly and unpredictable dogfight.

6. John Kerry is quickly moving up the list of people I want to punch in the neck. His response to a question about his wealth: "We all have different definitions of assets." Yeah, but we all probably agree on the definition of "asshole."

7. Tried to get some writing done this weekend but got bogged down (again) in editing what I'd already written. Part of the problem is the long gaps in between writing sessions which force me to re-read what I've already written. One change leads to another and then nap-time is over.

8. I had the most bizarre dream last night, the details of which I can't remember. One thing that stood out, though, was the in-dream realization that it was a remake of a previous dream.

9. If I haven't answered your email recently (like in the past few months) I'm most likely not ignoring you, I'm just way behind. I replied to several from December over the weekend!

10. My boss just referred to Starbucks and Blockbuster as "community-friendly businesses." Must. Not. Kill!

11. Without getting too specific, let me just say that I am so Machiavellian sometimes that I scare myself. The "worst" part is that it's more instinctual than deliberate. More on this later as things continue to develop.

12. Played the corporate networking game on Friday night for only the second time, a couple of drinks turning into several turning into a super-late night out. On the heels of my good - potentially great review - I realized the load I'd been carrying around recently had lifted a bit. Of course, it was replaced by the load from my not calling home to say I'd be later than expected. Much later! :-/

13. My milkshake is better than yours.

a home abandoned long enough
returns to its base components
walls, windows, doors, floors and ceilings

the sum becomes considerably less
than its parts

old books lean listlessly on shelves
next to faded pictures of places
long-forgotten, friends
no longer familiar

a film of dust covers them all

the last mix tape from years ago hides
at the bottom of the box
at the back of the shelf
in the closet never opened

the dust on the doorknob
is proof of its neglect

we are more likely to pick at scabs
than encourage healed wounds
to remember the sting of antiseptic
over the soothing hand that applies it

if familiarity breeds contempt
complacency is the petri dish
and we are mad scientists
competing to find the cure
to our homemade ills

a heart left untreated long enough
hardens to stone
its only hope is to break
shatter into millions of pieces small enough
to dissolve and start anew

when the silence stretches too far
the hurt settles into a dull but tolerable ache
the blind faith of separate paths
intersecting in the unseen distance
starts to weaken, threatens the stability of
home and heart

on the stereo in the living room
store-bought CDs set on random
shuffle in vain to clear the toxins from the air

I am the bad angel on Jack's right shoulder. I take advantage of his need to blow off steam every now and then. The longer he resists, the more power I have over him. With great power, comes great irresponsibility.

This whole gay marriage controversy is simply ridiculous. Sedalina has one of the better takes on the topic (as well as some particularly ignorant feedback from readers), and also led me to do to a little Googling to find the following:

An Act to Preserve Racial Integrity

5. It shall hereafter be unlawful for any white person in this State to marry any save a white person, or a person with no other admixture of blood than white and American Indian. For the purpose of this act, the term "white person" shall apply only to the person who has no trace whatsoever of any blood other than Caucasian; but persons who have one-sixteenth or less of the blood of the American Indian and have no other non-Caucasic blood shall be deemed to be white persons. All laws heretofore passed and now in effect regarding the intermarriage of white and colored persons shall apply to marriages prohibited by this act.

from the Virginia Racial Integrity Act of 1924

Eugenic Laws Against Race Mixing
Paul Lombardo, University of Virginia

By 1915, twenty-eight states made marriages between "Negroes and white persons" invalid; six states included this prohibition in their constitutions...

The 1958 case of Loving v. Commonwealth of Virginia initiated a challenge that would eventually overturn the law... By unanimous decision, in 1967 the [United States Supreme] Court struck down the Racial Integrity Act and similar laws of fifteen other states, saying: "[T]here can be no doubt that restricting the freedom to marry solely because of racial classifications violates the central meaning of the Equal Protection Clause... Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the state."

from the Image Archive on the American Eugenics Movement

equal protection: an overview

The Equal Protection Clause of the 14th amendment of the U.S. Constitution prohibits states from denying any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. In other words, the laws of a state must treat an individual in the same manner as others in similar conditions and circumstances...

The equal protection clause is not intended to provide "equality" among individuals or classes but only "equal application" of the laws. The result, therefore, of a law is not relevant so long as there is no discrimination in its application. By denying states the ability to discriminate, the equal protection clause of the Constitution is crucial to the protection of civil rights.

from the Legal Information Institute

A lot of this country's past disgusts me. So does a lot of its present. Especially when it starts to mirror things from our ugly past that you'd think we'd have learned something from.

Gay marriage should be a "duh!" issue. (Just like the ERA should be.) That it's causing this much of a stir should be an alarming wake-up call for anyone that believes "things aren't that bad."

  Then they came for me,

    and by that time there was no one

      left to speak up for me.



   --Rev. Martin Niemoller, 1945

We have the right to remain silent, and the obligation to speak.

The final excerpt on the 14th Ammendment shoots to hell the whole idea of letting states decide who can marry whom, as well as letting them decide to not honor a marriage licensed in another state. Kerry and Edwards are both scumbags for hiding behind that copout and with that realization, I've changed my mind about waiting for the results of Sunday's debate and am officially swinging my support back to Kucinich.

Fuck pragmatism. If Bush gets another four years, we deserve what's coming to us.

Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
--George Bernard Shaw

My one-year review went better than expected. Only a 3% raise, but it's the max they're giving this year (after two years of no increases!) so I can't complain too much. More importantly, I negotiated a restructuring of the department that will move me from a generalist working on several different publications as needed to focusing on a few and putting my own imprint on them. I might also get to take a Quark and Photoshop class which would help in my overall plans for world domination. Or at least fleshing out my resumé.

Plus, I'll get a six-month review that might net me another increase and an official promotion by the end of the summer. All in all, a nice way to end the week.

And today is pay day so it's off to Midtown Comics for lunch!

Initial reactions to tonight's debate (which will be repeated tonight on CNN at Midnight EST, 9pm PST):

1. Ted Koppell, you may step down from the #1 Jackass platform. Larry King, please take Mr. Koppell's place. Self-important moron!

2. Edwards came as close to getting the one-on-one he said he wanted as the panelists treated Kucinich and Sharpton like nerds at a frat party, focusing most of their attention on the two front-runners. And he blew it. Mostly. The nice guy schtick needs to stop if he really wants to be President as he was handed several greased softballs to zing Kerry with and he refused to do so, complimenting and agreeing with him more often than drawing clear distinctions. The couple of times he did take a shot, he was vague and tentative about it, and at least once allowed Kerry to get a shot in at him, making fun of a Kerry-like long-winded answer. Meanwhile, he took a few hard ones from Kucinich and Sharpton.

3. Kerry caught a couple on the chin from the dynamic duo, too, but they were mostly along with Edwards so the overall damage was minimal. His strategy of focusing more on Bush, while annoying as hell, especially when used to dodge a question, was pretty successful. He also brazenly ripped off Edwards' "positive and optimistic vision" and "offering real solutions" lines without being called on it. Part of me is starting to believe a deal's been cut between them to continue the primary process as long as possible to keep the heat on Bush, but to use only rubber bullets on each other.

4. Kucinich and Sharpton, when they were given the opportunity to participate, were at the top of their respective games. Both made strong cases for their remaining in the race despite King's obvious condescending attitude towards them throughout the debate. If Edwards doesn't get his act together by Sunday's debate and come out hungry and ready to rumble, I'm throwing my support back to Kucinich. If I'm going to back a loser, it's going to be the one I believe in most.

Pumpkin Seeds

1. Can The Passion of Christ be nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay next year? Or Best Foreign-Language Film? As I see it, that's the only legitimate controversy surrounding Mel Gibson's movie. I repeat: IT'S A MOVIE!

2. Lena Horne forces Janet Jackson to drop out of her bio-pic. Justin Timberlake is forced to step down from co-hosting a Motown tribute. J.C. Chasez, guilty by association, was booted from a Pro Bowl appearance. ER, completely unconnected, is forced to blur a peripheral shot of a dead woman's breasts. 20 more US soliders have been killed in Iraq since the Super Bowl, bringing the total to 549 in just under one year. George W. Bush still has a pretty good shot at being re-elected. More than 11 million people watched The Bachelorette last week. America is a very stupid place.

3. Tonight's Democratic Primary debate (CNN, 9pm EST) better be a good one. If someone doesn't land a couple of body shots on Kerry, this whole thing may be over by next Wednesday. And I mean the whole thing.

4. Have spent the past month trying to read The Black House, the Stephen King/Peter Straub sequel to The Talisman. I'm on page 29 and have read several of those 29 pages multiple times, desperately trying to get into the story. Barring skipping forward a couple of chapters, I don't think I will. It's tedious and not the least bit interesting.

5. Maroon 5 is a weird combination of Matchbox Twenty, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Mint Condition. Very cool.

6. Mike McGee is the reigning Indie Slam Champ. Sekou won the title in 2002. In contrast, Mayda del Valle won it in 2001, The Shane in 2000 and Roger in 1999. The inevitable bear market after the boom years?

7. On Tuesday at Acentos, I discovered a certain someone - a female someone - is a former role-player. She outed herself in a poem. Not a D&D player (White Wolf & Marvel Superheroes), but the foundation is there. If I can woo her to play, one of the guys in the group may have to get voted off the island. Can you hear the alliances forming?

8. Obligatory Eric Guerrieri Reference. Seriously, though, I think he needs to start an online journal. Send him an email and encourage this idea.

9. This picture was in the Daily News yesterday of A-Rod receiving instruction from Graig Nettles on playing third base. Brought a tear to my eye remembering the good old days. Graig Nettles remains my all-time favorite Yankee. They should retire his number 9 at the next Old Timer's Day. I'll be in the stands if and when they do.

All kinds of random weirdness at Acentos last night, starting with the big ass pool table smack in the middle of the already-small-to-begin-with Blue Ox! Nice turnout, to the point where the open mic is starting to feel a little on the long side and Oscar even had to cut a couple of people. The double-edged sword of success.

All of the regulars were in the house, plus some surprise drop-ins like Seve, Jeannie (with Ed, who was taping the feature) and Eric, who met me at my place beforehand. Funny how the guy I initially didn't like thanks to some purposeful miscommunication on the part of a louder regular he was dating at the time, became one of my best friends on the scene and, more importantly, outside of it. Having him there gave things that final feels-like-old-times touch that I get from Acentos.

The much-ballyhooed National Slam Champ Mike McGee was there for a mini-set towards the end of the open mic and I have to admit to being...underwhelmed? Extremely underwhelmed, to be honest. Some funny stuff here and there but nothing particularly original or interesting and certainly nothing I'd want to, you know, read. Sean Connery impressions don't really translate all that well to the page. I had to go to the bathroom at one point because I knew my forced smile was getting more and more obvious as I got more and more bored. Kind of reinforced my being glad I didn't waste a week's vacation last summer at Nationals.

Omar was the feature and he delivered an interesting, if uneven set that seemed to have a surprisingly vibrant undercurrent of anger to it. The kind of performance that usually precedes some crazy act of self-destruction no one sees coming, emphasized by his closing with a piece about death being on his mind. Overall, it masked the more subtle layers his work tends to have by focusing too much attention on the surface, particularly with his "killing Europeans" piece that made even me a little uncomfortable - more for the delivery than the content. His stringing together of several of his journal entries was a lot of fun, though, and served as a nice reminder of how good he is in that rarest of forms: the really short poem. He can say more in a handful of lines than most people cram into their 3-minute diatribes.

After the show, we all hung out, played some pool, played random songs on the jukebox and had some drinks. Considering my very public decision to hop on the wagon a few months back, I feel obligated to mention that I hopped off again after about 40 days. Not surprisingly, it was a night at Acentos and, considering I'd resisted the urge at Urbana and a couple of other places, I think it says a lot about my comfort level there. Also, when your wife doesn't take your decision all that seriously, it suggests that maybe you're not as bad as you think you are. Still have to watch that tendency to ignore/test my limits and keep it social. It's all good, though.

On a side note, I bought the Maroon 5 CD, Songs About Jane, a couple of weeks ago and it is without question my favorite album of the past couple of years. Looooooooove it! Even more than Milli Vanilli. That's a compliment, by the way.

If you've read this journal at any point during the past eight months or so, you know I love debating politics. If you know me personally, you also know I despise blind, unquestioning devotion to anyone or anything.

This weekend, I responded to a mass email from a Kucinich supporter offering their take on Johns Kerry & Edwards and cc'd DK's local Meetup group for the hell of it. It was a repost of my February 17th entry announcing/explaining my switch of support from Kucinich to Edwards, with a short preface for context. Not surprisingly, I received a reply questioning not only my decision - suggesting the differences between Kerry and Edwards were "tiny, if they even exist." - but also the legitimacy of my initial support for Kucinich.

So, of course, I responded:

from nycmeetupforkucinich@yahoogroups.com
From: "Guy LeCharles Gonzalez"
Date: Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:42 am
Subject: Re: Digest Number 105

<< Your logic of appealing to the "middle" (which keeps on moving right) would seem to dictate that you support Lieberman last summer, not Kucinich. >>

LOL! Not even close. And so laughable as to not be nearly as offensive as it was likely meant to be.

For the record, my email was in response to one forwarded by Jessica Flagg, Kucinich's NYS Volunteer Coordinator, from David Swanson, Kucinich's former Press Secretary, offering his take on the "favored candidates" (his words), Kerry and Edwards.

My decision to back Edwards next week - in spirit only thanks to the fact that I have no desire to officially declare myself a Democrat and as such, NY's rules on changing party affiliation will keep me from having a say in the primary - is based purely on the fact that I do not want to be faced with a choice between John Kerry and George Bush in November. Unlike most Democrats, I have never believed in the "Anybody But Bush" credo.

While Bush is undeniably a terrible President, he's obviously not bad enough for Democrats to wake up and nominate a true alternative. Given the choice between Kerry and Edwards, I believe Edwards represents the better alternative, both for defeating Bush and for the possibility of future reform in the party itself. That he enjoys some sort of personal friendship with Kucinich is also a plus in my mind.

What mystifies me most is Kucinich's (and his supporters') dogged support for the Democratic Party despite the fact that the party itself sees him (them) as a minor nuisance, at best. I appreciate his hard work and much of what he represents but I also recognize the fact that his moment has now passed and that if Edwards doesn't have an impressive showing on March 2nd, John Kerry will get the Democratic nod, the chances of Bush being reelected will increase, and Ralph Nader will be the only "other" voice the media will cover.

Kucinich needs Edwards to have a strong Super Tuesday in order to maintain his tenuous platform and limited media coverage. If Edwards goes down, the media will declare the primaries as being over, and Kucinich will be _completely_ blacked out.

My "logic of appealing to the 'middle'," as you put it, comes from the recognition that the vast majority of this country does NOT share my opinions on many of the issues. Just like Kucinich's last-minute deal with Edwards in Iowa, I realize that the primary season is a fluid one where you have to pick your battles carefully, and that sometimes compromises have to be made on the fly, and knowing _when_ to make them is as important as knowing which ones to make.

I have always encouraged people to vote their conscience and I fully respect your intent to vote for Kucinich next Tuesday and to support his campaign to the bitter end. I only hope that Tuesday's final results don't bring about that end sooner than necessary, leaving us all in the unenviable position of supporting another "lesser of two evils" candidate with absolutely nothing to show for it but four years of lip service and relative status quo.

Respectfully,
Guy LeCharles Gonzalez

Compromise is always a tricky subject as no one ever wants to admit they're doing it. What I find most ironic about Kucinich supporters, and Kucinich himself, is the unwillingness to acknowledge that supporting the Democratic party is itself a major compromise. While there is certainly a progressive wing of the party, it's about as viable as a Mets fan in the Bronx. We may be tolerated for our views but we're never going to effect major change and, if we push too far, we will be ignored; or silenced.

At this point in the process, if Kucinich really wanted to take a forceful stance, he'd say screw the Democrats and join forces with Nader. It would be political suicide, though, and at his core, as much as I love what he stands for, the guy is a politician and he's playing the game the best he can without breaking the rules. It's a compromise he's obviously comfortable with. As am I with mine.

John Edwards: The best option for real change that we've got. Get him in office, then on November 3rd continue the push for even more change, starting on the local level and bubbling up nationally in the 2008 elections. The worst thing any of us can do is to think that simply replacing Bush is enough.

Okay, okay. I give in!


You're Mexico!
While some people think you're poor and maybe a little corrupt, you know where it's at, enjoying good food and nice beaches.  You like to take things a little slower than those around you, and you really wish the air were cleaner, but sometimes compromises must be made.  For some reason, Chevrolet keeps trying to sell you Novas as well, even though they don't really go.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Stayed home from work today and slept til 1pm after dropping the kids off. Watched Dr. Phil and Oprah after realizing our On-Demand wasn't working! Still tired.

Update on media bias in movie box-office reporting, here's how E! Online spun 50 First Dates' 47% drop-off from last weekend, despite having no major competition opening this weekend:

"First Dates" Still First
by Bridget Byrne, E! News Online

Although dropping 47 percent, 50 First Dates averaged a solid $5,814 per theater at 3,612 sites (21 more than its debut week) and has now grossed $72.3 million, according to studio estimates Sunday.

The "solid" per screen average was a mere $60.00 more than Barbershop 2 managed in its second weekend which was reported with a considerably less-positive spin. Barbershop 2, BTW, took in another $6.3 million this weekend (a 40% drop, on 482 less screens than last week; 1383 less than 50 First Dates), bringing its three-week total to an estimated $53 million, a pace that should easily exceed its predecessor's surprising $78 million take.

I'm just saying.

It's official. Ralph Nader's running for President. Again.

While my initial reaction was predictably negative, after I put my personal dislike of the guy aside and took a look at where he was coming from this time around, I came to the surprising conclusion that I agreed with his decision!

I believe the fact that John Kerry is the current Democratic "front-runner" and scarily close to wrapping up the nomination this early in the process is one of the main reasons he's decided to junp back in the race. A lot of the "I like Kucinich but Dean can win" people can take some of the responsibility for it, too.

Nader made it pretty clear early on in the process that Kucinich was his man. If he felt like DK was making a dent in the Dem's platform, he said he wouldn't run this time. He even spurned the Green Party because they wanted to run a strategic campaign, only targetting states that were clearly red or blue, to which Nader said you either run or you don't - which I totally agree with.

Because he's going independent, I actually respect his running this time more than last. He's running purely on his own principles now, not shrouding them in the Green's presumptuous attempts at establishing themselves as the third party. Because Dean and Kucinich have routinely professed their ultimate loyalty to the party, Nader is the one that scares Dems the most, and as a result, he wields more potential influence on the platform that comes out of Boston than anyone else.

Interestingly, like Howard Dean, he's made a point of noting a preference for Edwards, saying on NBC's Meet The Press: "I think the more organized the citizens are, the better a politician [Edwards is] going to be. He's like an expanding accordion, unlike President Bush, who is really a giant corporation in the White House masquerading as a human being." Presumably Kerry, whom he doesn't refer to once in the interview, is just another competing corporation and not a viable representative of the people. That's my interpretation, at least! ;-)

I welcome his decision to jump in the race the same way I support Kucinich and Sharpton's voices continuing to be included in the debates. His will be another voice raised against the Bush administration and, because he's Ralph Nader and the media loves the easy "spoiler" angle, he will get more coverage than Kucinich or the now-hobbled Dean.

Should Kerry ultimately get the nod from the Democrats to face off against Bush, I will strongly consider giving Nader my vote and encouraging others to do the same. Of course, that's assuming we're able to as the chances of him getting on most state's ballots is extremely slim without a party backing him. At the least, I'd love to see him sitting on stage between Dubya and Kerry, making them and their respective parties both look like the hypocritical idiots they are.

Welcome to the party, Ralph. And good luck.

One more for the road, a bit extreme in its conclusion but...damn! The botox thing is funny as hell, too! (Thanks, Razz, for the link.)

Inside John Kerry's Closet
By MICHAEL DONNELLY

A friend recently wrote, "I just ran into a woman in (the organic grocery) who's been working on the Kerry campaign for 18 months, when I asked her what his political accomplishments are, she hesitated and said, "Well, I don't know, check out his website."

Save yourself the website search, here's a synopsis:

It's deplorable. Three-hundred-seventeen bills introduced. Seven passed. And four of those were ceremonial ones -- designating special days. Voted for the horrific Telecommunications Act (in fact, led the charge); voted for the illegal war/occupation; voted for the Patriot Act (in fact, helped draft parts of it when it was first drafted under Clinton); brags about voting for class war on poor moms and kids--Clinton's welfare "reform" -- need I go on?

Yes, I will. One of the few Bills he got passed was 1999's Plan Columbia, the phony Drug War's defoliation of the rainforest with toxic chemicals. Since the Plan was launched some 325,000 acres of South America's oldest democracy have been sprayed with toxins, yet there has been no drop off in cocaine imports to the US. In fact, according to the Harvard Political Review, Columbia's cocaine production increased 11%.

For anyone still on the fence about John Kerry, here's a couple of articles to check out, courtesy of the muckrakers at Counterpunch.

Kerry: He's Peaking, Already
By ALEXANDER COCKBURN and JEFFREY ST. CLAIR

As yet Karl Rove has yet to launch the Shock and Awe barrage that will explode over Kerry's head some time in the late summer, after the Democrats have got their boost in Boston.

Rove's targeting plans will obviously include such easy, but telling hits as Kerry's support for Bush's tax cuts for the rich. (If elected President, according to the bean counters at Forbes', Kerry will be the third richest denizen of the Oval Office in American history.) Kerry voted for the Patriot Act and he voted for the '03 attack on Iraq.

And this wasn't just a resigned Aye. Kerry was up there with Bush, Rumsfeld and Blair as a huckster for all the lies that have come home to haunt Washington. "These weapons represent an unacceptable threat", he bellowed last year...

Kerry agrees with Bush about the tax cuts. He agrees with him about the Patriot Act. He agrees with him on trade. He agrees with him on the war. Why change horses, Bush will ask the American people. "I can manage things better," Kerry will respond. What else can he say? He's never once, in three senate terms, offered legislation to inconvenence the "special interests" at which he's lately launched a few pop-gun attacks...

This is where the timid legions of the left, cowed by furious bluster about their treachery in deserting the Democratic standard back in 2000, might ask some serious questions, and maybe even threaten desertion again. All Kerry can offer is superior management of the imperial bandwagon at home and abroad...

Why is Kerry Getting a Pass?
By GREG WEIHER

...even after the war began, Kerry was a vocal supporter. At house meetings in South Carolina, Kerry avowed that Saddam Hussein was a threat to the United States and had to be removed. It was not until the major media jumped on the "no-WsMD" bandwagon that Kerry dared to differ with the Bushies...

This is not the only curious case of Kerry sliding under the press's radar. Much has been made of Bush family connections with the band of thieves that ran Enron, but Kerry has his own history of complicity with corporate malfeasance. He had close connections to David Paul, CEO of the failed S&L, Centrust. Paul was convicted of ninety-seven counts of bank fraud and sent to prison for ten years, and the failure of CenTrust cost taxpayers $2 billion.

...the American mainline press suspended disbelief, sidled right up to the Bush administration, and spewed whatever nonsense about WsMD the prevari-cons decided to put out. Like Miller, the corporate media parroted drivel about Scuds, about mobile weapons labs, about anthrax spewing drones that might appear over Milwaukee or Paducah. So the big problem for them now is this: if they start to give Kerry a hard time for his spinelessness on Iraq, they might just have to confront their own spinelessness as well.

So what's the difference between Kerry and John Edwards, specifically on the issue of Iraq, when both of them voted for the war resolution?

There was a moment in the Wisconsin debate last week, when both were asked whether they felt "...any degree of responsibility for the war and its costs and casualties?" Kerry spent a couple of minutes avoiding the question, instead reminding everyone that he was a soldier once and took a potshot at Bush and his handling of the war. The panelist - Craig Gilbert, Washington bureau chief of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel - didn't let him off the hook, though: "But what about you? I mean, let me repeat the question. Do you have any degree of responsibility having voted to give him the authority to go to war?" He again avoided accepting any responsibility for his vote, instead offering another long-winded dodge, concluding it with: "My regret is not the vote. It was appropriate to stand up to Saddam Hussein. There was a right way to do it, a wrong way to do it. My regret is this president chose the wrong way, rushed to war, is now spending billions of American taxpayers' dollars that we didn't need to spend this way had he built a legitimate coalition, and has put our troops at greater risk."

Edwards, on the other hand, answered it this way:

GILBERT: You cast the same vote, Senator Edwards, is that the way you see it?

EDWARDS: That's the longest answer I ever heard to a yes or no question. The answer to your question is of course.

We all accept responsibility for what we did. I did what I believed was right. I took it very, very seriously.

I also said at the same time that it was critical when we got to this stage that America not be doing this alone. The president is doing it alone. And the result is what we see happening to our young men and women right now. We need to take a dramatic course. We will take a dramatic course.

And by the way, Senator Kerry just said he will beat George Bush; not so fast, John Kerry. We're going to have an election here in Wisconsin this Tuesday. And we've got a whole group of primaries coming up. And I, for one, intend to fight with everything I've got for every one of those votes.

And back to your question. What we will do, when I'm president of the United States, is we will change this course. We will bring in the rest of the world; we will internationalize this effort. We will bring NATO in to provide security.

For example, we could put NATO today in charge of the Saudi Arabian border, the Iranian border, allow us to concentrate on the Sunni Triangle, where so much of the violence has been occurring.

We do need to change course. And ultimately, we have to get on a real timetable for the Iraqis to govern themselves and provide for their own security.

There are many different ways to measure Presidentiality. In my mind, the willingness and ability to stand by one's actions and accept responsibility for their consequences is crucial. Edwards did so. As much as I can't stand him, I can understand how Bush's supporters might say the same about him. But Kerry? The only thing he stands by are the polls that tell him when it's time to change direction.

Maybe it's the time of year, winter having long worn out its welcome while spring remains little more than a distant hope. The mixed emotions of the holidays are long past and the bills are almost, but not quite, paid off. The memory of old hurts are as faded as those of recent highs. A palpable lull, easily interpreted as smooth sailing or the calm before the storm.

My head is in a million places these days, unable to focus on anything specific, for better or worse.

Work is in limbo as I await my one-year review, pretty sure it won't be bad but doubtful that it will be good enough to lift the melancholy that envelops the increasingly long hours between 9am and 5pm. The only thing worse than a job you hate is one you feel complete apathy towards. Hate is at least an energetic emotion that demands action.

The tangible results of the kind of marketing I'm doing now are completely unfulfilling. Doesn't even come close to the nourishment from a room full of people attending an event you put together - whether it's six for a session of D&D, or 100 for a poetry reading.

I have no interest in running another poetry reading.

Given a choice between a high-paying corporate job in the city and a back-breaking service job in a small town, I often believe I'd prefer the latter. Money doesn't motivate me, passion does. I desire the intangible.

I want to work with my hands again.

Escape from New York reminds me that I live here as much because I want to as that I have to. Or think I do, at least. Nowhere else compares to it. A double-edged sword.

I marvel that more people don't snap during rush hour, unfamiliar bodies unwillingly pressed against each other, some enjoying the opportunity to connect more than others. There are days I'd give it all up for a small house in the country with just enough land to not always be aware of the fence around it.

I am happy, but not content.

Don't let anyone spin it otherwise. Raw numbers aside, John Kerry - the presumptive nominee that by all 'indicators' should have won in a landslide - lost tonight's Wisconsin primary and the next 7 days will determine whether or not John Edwards can capitalize on that fact and snag the nomination outright. I think he will.

Is there anyone out there that can honestly say they like John Kerry? That they find him inspiring? Contrasting his post-primary speech tonight with Edwards' and Dean's, it's a telling sign that he can't get much more than a spirited golf clap from a room of presumably diehard supporters. And the crickets in the room after he gave awkward props to his wife with a painfully scripted self-deprecating joke was just embarrassing.

I've been doing a lot of reading and research over the past couple of weeks, trying to determine my Plan B as it's now clear that Kucinich is officially a footnote in this primary process. Ironically, Dean getting knocked back down to the insurgent role of challenging the overall direction of the party - and actually becoming a stronger and more appealing candidate because of it - left Kucinich hanging in the wind, clinging to an anti-war platform that, in varying degrees, has now been worked into all of the other candidates' platforms. Dean will get much of the credit for that but it was Kucinich's flanking him on the left that enabled him to push as hard as he did.

I'm now backing John Edwards, and not just because it's become a two-man race between him and the flaccid Kerry. It's a move I've been leaning towards for a few weeks now, clinched largely by Edwards' admirable approach to the process - relentlessly positive and sometimes annoyingly optimistic - and the fact that I find his positions on most of the issues agreeable, if not always 100% compatible with my own. There's a few things I don't love, particularly his opposition to gay marriage, but I somehow find it a little less offensive coming from a southern boy like him than the Skull-and-Bones Yale grad from liberal Massachussetts. As for the electability issue, I look at it this way: Kerry is running purely on momentum; Edwards on substance. People get to know him, they like him, they vote for him. Kerry's winning the Democratic faithful but Edwards is winning the Independents and on-the-fence Republicans and doing so without watering down his message. The Democrats will ultimately vote for whomever's on the ticket just to get rid of Bush. There's no question there. But that only gets us to a 48%-48% draw. Edwards has a better shot of inspiring both those sitting on the fence and those too disenchanted to bother voting, ensuring there's not another repeat of 2000.

Make no mistake: John Kerry is Gore: Reloaded. And not the newly passionate Al Gore, either. While John Edwards may not be the extreme fundamental change represented by Dennis Kucinich, he's a hell of a bigger step in that direction than Kerry the Chameleon.

Hello Guy,
Here is your Free Daily Horoscope Service for today, Feb 17.

You might need to connect with Mother Earth, Guy. Lately, you've been feeling less than grounded. You might have the sensation that your mind is drifting somewhere above your body. If your work is mostly of the mental variety, and if you spend a lot of time on your computer, you might experience some feelings of disconnection from your body. Correct this by going for a long walk in a park, or sit by the ocean or other body of water.

Amen to that as I've been feeling totally disconnected for the past few days. Between the impending one-year anniversary on the job I no longer love but don't quite hate, the weird night hosting at the Nuyorican, and the future homesteading question - I'm in a mild state of confusion.

Last week's return to the Nuyorican Poets Café was significant, for me, for several reasons, not the least of which was that it was my first time on that stage since that fateful night in December 1998 that led to an ugly 1999 and me being banned for a couple of years beyond that. While I did read at Felice Belle's farewell at the end of 2002, that felt very different as it was one quick poem and I'd been completely off the scene for a year at that point. Hosting Encomium was a much bigger deal - even bigger than I initially realized as my presence apparently had to be cleared through Carmen Pietri-Diaz, the Café's Executive Director. If true, and I have no reason to believe it isn't, I imagine it came about solely as a result of my co-hosting the Rev. Pedro Pietri benefit at the Bowery last month. It does present an interesting question, though: with Keith Roach long gone from the Café, and he and I having pretty much buried the hatchet, who's still holding a grudge?

Anyway, the show itself was a lot of fun, even with the tightly scheduled line-up and Fish telling me beforehand that I was one of the few people that hadn't stressed him yet. No pressure there! synonymUS, an interesting idea looking for proper execution, may have finally found its legs as Raymond Daniel Medina and company put together some excellent tributes, expertly melding music and poetry without the clumsily pretentious insider feedback element that handicapped their run at the Bowery last year. The performances were tight, well-rehearsed and well-deserving of feature status. I, on the other hand, took a blind leap into the great unrehearsed as drummer [and photographer extraordinaire!] Peter Dressel backed me up on Felipe Luciano's Puerto Rican Rhythms, a nerve-wracking performance that I'm sure everyone was being nice in not pointing out that I yelled my way through like a punk rocker at a gospel concert. It served as something of a rock-star intro for Bonafide, though, so it was all good.

Bonafide - young punk that he is! - is quickly becoming one of my favorite poets. Outside of the slam scene - where his tendency to rush and stumble over his words often diminishes the true power of his work - is where he shines brightest, allowing his well-crafted work to sit on the ear a split-second longer, and his engaging personality to comfortably fill the spaces between poems. It was a pleasure to see him two nights in a row, something you can't really say about most poets with their limited repertoires and forced banter.

...

Salomé and I talked about the housing question and got into the same chapter, if not quite on the same page. While I still have some issues with buying something in this area and have no interest in being a suburban commuter - subway or bust, mofos! - there are certain scenarios I can imagine that might work, all involving income-producing propetry. Whether or not they're realistic is a whole other question! The main conflict is that I've always seen myself as a city person, defined specifically by apartment living and subway transportation. As the years pass, though, a part of me yearns for a small town life that I'm not really sure exists anywhere anymore. And if it does, am I really cut out for it?

This whole issue of grounding and disconnection is a complicated one when you realize some of the things you think do the job for you actually don't. It's like discovering a self-created Matrix where the two worlds have become so entangled that you're not sure what's real and what's fake, and disconnecting the wrong wire could make the whole thing explode. Or, even worse, nothing would change.