10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR GEORGE W. BUSH

10. Because you'd like to see him elected legitimately this time.

9. Because women have too much control over their own bodies.

8. Because affirmative action is reverse racism and slavery was a long time ago.

7. Because you are a CEO or other high-ranking corporate executive.

6. Because you're single with no kids and drive an SUV.

5. Because you can afford your own health insurance, have significant money in the stock market and/or send your kids to parochial school.

4. Because those uncivilized Arabs need a Starbucks, Wal-Mart and McDonald's on every corner.

3. Because the Pentagon is strapped for cash.

2. Because Corporate America has the people's best interests at heart.

1. Because it will take at least another four years to find those weapons of mass destruction Saddam used against us on 9/11.

HOW MUCH CHANGE ARE YOU READY FOR?